Title: Hoshii
Series: Kiss
Pairing: Yamapi x Kame
Author: J
Date: 26.12.2005
Notes: Rated NC-17. Kame-muse was practically asking for it without really realising what he was asking for I think. And Pi-muse… well, he must be a happy muse now. *kicks* Writing was okay until, well, that part, cos I’m bad at writing such stuff.
Love, in a way, was a scary thing. It made people lose control, and nothing really makes sense anymore. Yet there was no way to hide from it. Before you knew it, it would hit you like a tornado, spinning your world around. At least that was what Yamapi felt.
He couldn’t be sure though. Was he really in love with Kame? Yamapi knew that right now, his thoughts always led back to the younger boy. Whatever he did, he was reminded of Kame. He couldn’t get the boy out of his mind. Nothing else mattered. All he wanted now was to see the other, to touch the other, to kiss the other. Was it pure lust? Yamapi wasn’t sure. He couldn’t really think straight anymore.
But the more he tried to find Kame, the harder it got. It didn’t help that both groups didn’t have that many activities together these days, so Yamapi had to resort to dropping by KAT-TUN’s room for no reason when he found the time in between his busy schedule. But Kame was never there. Sometimes the room was empty, or sometimes there were only a few members, but there were times when all were there but Kame. He never did dare to ask where the younger boy was though. Instead, he merely used the excuse of finding Jin if they asked why he was there.
It was making him go crazy.
Not being able to see Kame for almost two weeks now had brought back the insomnia. With it came bouts of grumpiness, which probably scared away his own bandmates. When they tried to ask what was wrong, he merely ignored them. After that at home, he would feel bad about it, but then, before he could apologise to them the next day for his horrible behaviour, he returned to his grumpy mode once more when he failed to find Kame again.
Yamapi had come to the conclusion that Kame was avoiding him. He knew the other boy had gone to work, and the other KAT-TUN members, as well as his own bandmates, had definitely seen Kame around, although not a lot. It couldn’t be that Yamapi’s luck was so bad that he was never able to even catch a single glimpse of the younger boy, right? The only logical explanation was that Kame was avoiding him at all cost, and he wanted to know why. There was no one he could ask though, and even if there was, Yamapi’s pride prevented him from doing so.
In the end, he showed up at Kame’s front door, deciding that in that way, there was no chance of Kame escaping.
Kame’s parents were pleasantly surprised to see him, which Yamapi understood, considering that he seldom drop by. They told him that Kame was up in his room, and he might have gone up to Kame’s room a little faster than a normal visitor would. But Yamapi couldn’t help it. Waiting was only gonna drive him crazier.
Yamapi didn’t bother knocking. Surprised flickered on Kame’s face for a few seconds, before he went back to reading his magazine.
“Kame.”
Silence.
“Kame-chan.” Yamapi tried again, closing the door behind him and locking it, not wanting them to be disturbed.
Silence.
“Kazuya.”
Kame looked up, his eyes were intense, yet sad, and Yamapi knew something was wrong.
“What’s wrong, Kazuya?” He tried again, calling Kame by his name once more, seeing that he couldn’t get any response in any other way.
“What are you doing here?” Kame finally spoke, and Yamapi felt like someone had just poured a bag of ice over him.
Yamapi inched closer towards the other boy. “Did I… Did I do something wrong?”
“Did you?”
Yamapi realised then that he never knew what Kame was thinking. Not when he first kissed Kame, nor the second time. He couldn’t tell what was on Kame’s mind when the latter kissed him back, and the half smile that Kame had given him the last time didn’t reveal anything either. The other boy was a master at concealing his thoughts, or at least to Yamapi anyway. What Kame felt, what Kame was thinking now, why Kame avoided him, why Kame was giving him the cold shoulder, why Kame let Yamapi kiss him, why Kame kissed back. Yamapi didn’t know the answer to any of those questions.
“I…” Yamapi began, but stopped, unsure of what to say. I wanted to see you? I wanted to know why you were avoiding me for the past two weeks? I missed you so badly that I was driving everyone else crazy? I want you? I… love you?
“Yamapi…” Kame began, his voice softened this time. Not hard, cold, like it was at first. “You never did answer my question.”
“Hai?”
“Why did you kiss me in the first place?”
Yamapi thought back to the very first time, when the two of them went fishing. He remembered seeing the myriads of expressions on Kame’s face that day, and how he decided he could never get tired of them. The look of concentration Kame had when he tried to catch a fish with his death glare… the look of embarrassment, Kame’s face blushing red, when he told Kame that he was cute… the look of disappointment when the sun was going to set and Kame hadn’t caught a single fish yet, and the look of joy when he finally did.
He remembered the period of time after that day when he had trouble sleeping. How he woke Kame from his slumber with a kiss to drag him off to shop, and how from that night onwards, the insomnia he was experiencing vanished. He thought of the time he sat next to Kame while the latter watched a romantic drama and was so focused on it. He recalled looking at Kame’s eyes, and drowning in them. He recalled the taste of wanting more from their kiss when Kame broke away, not once, but twice.
He remembered feeling extremely jealous when he had to watch Kame flirt with everyone but him. He remembered feeling upset with the knowledge that he wasn’t Kame’s number one. He wanted to be Kame’s number one, not number thirteen, or zero, not even number two. He was selfish, and greedy, and wanted no one else to touch Kame, no one else to kiss Kame, no one else to have Kame.
“I love you.”
The words were soft, almost a whisper, almost inaudible, but they hit Yamapi like a wave. He had opened his mouth, ready to speak, ready to tell Kame everything that he was feeling, but the words that hit his own ears took him by surprise. It took a while to comprehend those words.
“More than I probably should.” Kame added, then chuckled to himself, noting the look of surprise on Yamapi’s face. He had harboured this secret for so long, worried that confessing would only strain their relationship. He had tried to brush it off as a simple crush, but it wasn’t. He loved the older boy, a hell lot, more than he probably should. “Ah, I guess I shouldn’t have said that. Now things won’t be the same anymore.”
“Kazuya, I…” Yamapi started, paused, and took a deep breath.
Not wanting to hear Yamapi’s rejection, Kame interrupted. “Pi, I think you should just leave.”
“I want you!” Yamapi exclaimed. He closed his eyes, took another deep breath, and continued. “I can’t say if I love you or not. I don’t know. All I know is, nothing else seems to matter to me anymore, and I can’t think straight, and I think I’m going crazy, or driving everyone else crazy. Jin probably knows that I haven’t been going to the KAT-TUN room to look for him but for you. I think Koyama has been telling everyone to stay away from me if they wanna stay alive. Ryo-chan probably wants to shoot me with a gun but instead calls me an ‘aho’. Kusano has decided that it’s safer to go karaoke with Tegoshi. Even Toma appears like he wants to tell me something but doesn’t dare to do so because I look like I wanna kill someone if I didn’t see you soon. The other day I saw Yuto run away when he caught sight of me and I almost ran after him, thinking that he would lead me to you or something…”
“Pi…”
“Ichiban naritai yo… I really meant that.” Yamapi stated, full of conviction. Then he let a smile slip across his face. “Since you say that you love me, does that mean I’m your ichiban?”
Kame tried to hide his smile. “It depends…”
“Depends on what?” Yamapi said, a pout beginning to form on his lips.
Kame pondered, licked his lips, then continued. “…depends on how much you want me.”
Before he knew it, Yamapi had lunged towards him, throwing the magazine that Kame was holding onto the floor, and pinning his arms above his head. Kame realised how sensitive he was at the ears when Yamapi started nibbling on one of them, before moving down to kiss the side of his face, his jaw, his neck… The older boy started to expertly unbuttoned Kame’s shirt with his teeth, his grip of Kame’s hands loosening as he moved down. Kame decided not to ask where Yamapi learnt that from, as he was having problems focusing anyway, what with Yamapi licking at his stomach, the touch enough to send an electric shock through him. Yamapi’s tongue toyed with him further, illiciting a soft moan from his lips. His arms were released from Yamapi’s hold, as Yamapi’s hands moved instead to remove Kame’s pants. Before he knew it, his cock was exposed and Kame was about to protest but the words were caught in his throat when he felt Yamapi’s tongue against his length.
“Pi…” Kame managed to say, his voice hoarse. “My parents are at home.”
“Don’t worry, I locked the door. And anyway, doesn’t that just make this… more fun?” Yamapi grinned as he kissed Kame’s thighs, slowly, teasingly.
“They can still hear.” Kame said, ignoring that he was hard and that all he wanted now was for Yamapi to relieve him so badly. His hands betrayed him though, as his right hand reached out for Yamapi, running his fingers through the latter’s hair.
“So do you want me to stop?” Yamapi looked at him, head tilted, eyes full of innocence even though behind the facade, Kame knew Yamapi was the devil. Kame shut his eyes tight, refusing to reply. Either way, it would mean torture. He heard Yamapi chuckle. “I’ll take that as a ‘no’ then?”
His body betrayed him again as his back arched up a little, practically begging for release. Kame gasped when he felt Yamapi’s mouth close around his length, licking, and sucking, forcing Kame to close his mouth tight so as to keep as quiet as he could. Still, he couldn’t help but moan as he felt Yamapi’s tongue glide across his cock, taking him whole, his mind turning into to a complete blank. Kame lost all control and came into the older boy’s mouth, who in turn swallowed all of him.
“I hate you.” Kame said, panting, as Yamapi moved on top of him.
“No you don’t.” Yamapi smiled, planting a butterfly kiss on his nose. “You said you love me.”
“I changed my mind.” Kame stuck his tongue out, before tugging at the older boy, hungry for a kiss on the lips. But Yamapi pulled back a little, making Kame a little annoyed.
“Does that mean I’m not your ichiban?” Yamapi pouted.
That again. Kame rolled his eyes. “Of course you are, you baka!” Kame said as he pulled Yamapi down, kissing those pouting lips hungrily.
* * * * *
© Copyrighted by O-Baka! | Home
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@ANO SA…
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH
I LOVE YOU!!!! *glomps*
You and your Kame-muse to be precise
@ANO SA…
Ups, what happened to the rest of my comment? oO
Html hates me, I can tell!! ;___;
Anyway, I just wantd to tell you in about 29 247 other ways how much I liked this fic! *laughs*
It made my all hyper and bouncy, how am I supposed to sleep now?? XD” (well, who cares about sleep if you can have some PiKame-love? ^.^~)
Hm, wonder if I can skip that chapter now that you’ve written such a beautiful fic for it *_______*
Did I mention I love you for this? ♥
^____________^
@AISHITERU
Geez, took me ages to finally find the time and read your fic ;__; having visitors for a longer time sure is has its disadvantages at times ^^;
First off: I’m so happy you decided to write another chapter after all…. Seems like your muses have been bugging you enough, even without my help ;p
Keke, I can’t get enough of jealous!Pi… it’s so adorable ^.^
It’s also so cute, how he doesn’t want to hurt Kame by saying he loves him, if he isn’t completely sure about it. But if he ever were to change his mind about his feelings for Kame, I’ll hunt him down personally! >>”
Anyway, I hope your muses are still wide-awake *kicks Pi-muse if he’s asleep again* so that you can continue writing the other fics, now that this one is finished…. or just write even more to this one ^.~
(Nooo, I’m not demanding *coughs*)
“At that moment though, Yamapi felt like he had just lost out to a dead fish.”
The first thing I thought of was ‘the mental superior.’ I’m indebted to you for that.
Thank you ~